Crafting Quiet Menace
- June Skye
- Jul 12
- 2 min read
Welcome to a special craft-focused edition of Simple Saturday. The first real moment of terror in Claimed by Night isn't a magical explosion or a jump scare; it's a quiet, deeply uncomfortable, and horribly human confrontation in a bar.
As writers, it’s easy to rely on overt violence to show danger. But today, I want to break down how I crafted this scene of quiet menace, using the initial meeting between Liz and Daemon as an example. I believe psychological terror is built on the violation of unspoken rules and the erosion of a character’s safety and agency.
Here are three techniques I used:
The Violation of Space and Consent. A threat doesn’t have to be shouted. Daemon’s true menace first appears when he commands Liz, "Sit". When she refuses, he doesn’t yell. He simply acts. "His fingers closed around my forearm in a grip like steel bands". This unwanted physical touch is a profound violation. It’s quiet, controlled, and tells Liz (and the reader) in no uncertain terms that her consent is irrelevant.
The Horror of Being Known. I escalated the stakes when Daemon reveals he knows her full name: "Elizabeth Margaret Mitchel". This is the moment the encounter goes from a random, scary incident to something deeply personal and premeditated. A stranger knowing your secret middle name is terrifying because it proves you are not anonymous. It proves you have been targeted.
The Illusion of Choice. The masterstroke of a psychological manipulator is to frame a demand as a choice. Daemon’s ultimatum—"Take the shot... or I will take you" —is a perfect example. It isn't a real choice. This forces the protagonist into a position of complicity in their own torment. By "choosing" to take the shot, Liz is forced to participate in his game.
When crafting your own villains, think beyond physical threats. How can they use quiet commands, invasive knowledge, and impossible choices to terrorize your hero? I find that the most memorable horror is often the kind that happens in a whisper.
May your threats be unspoken,
June Skye
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